Because the **only bottle that really matters** is full of creamy, herby, liquid gold. If your idea of celebrating involves drowning your salad in ranch, then this **hilarious and slightly unhinged** cross-stitch pattern is for you. Stitch it up as a tribute to the real VIP of any meal.

🧵 **Pattern Details:**
**Stitch Count:** 139 x 132
**Finished Size:**
- **14 Count AIDA**: **9.9 x 9.4 inches**
- **16 Count AIDA**: **8.7 x 8.3 inches**
- **18 Count AIDA**: **7.7 x 7.3 inches**

📥 **Instant Download – Digital Item Only**
- No waiting, no shipping—just **download, print, and start stitching** before your next meal.
- ⚠️ **No physical items will be shipped.** (Trust me, I wish I could send you actual ranch, but we have to settle for pixels.)

🚫 **No Refunds on Digital Items**
- Since this is an instant download, **all sales are final.** But if you have any issues, I'm happy to help!

So, are you **popping bottles** of bubbly or just **getting wild with ranch?** Either way, this pattern is calling your name. **Click "Add to Cart" and start stitching today!**